Easing suffering with gratitude

You may remember that last month we talked at length about the subject of suffering (Duhkha) and surrender (Isvara Pranidhana). It’s not an easy topic to unravel in one’s life, as it’s a many-limbed beast that can haunt your steps for a lifetime or longer. But the more I dance around the edges of surrender, I do think it’s possible. That probably sounds ridiculous — of course surrender is possible. Many people are living their lives in a peaceful state of surrender at all times. I’m just not one of those people, and I wasn’t sure if I ever really could be.

As I continue to ponder the hows, the thing I keep coming back to is gratitude. If you’re tired of hearing about gratitude, I apologize. I know the new age universe is all about gratitude, and it can grow tiresome. But, there really is something to it. Hear me out and take from it what you will.

We’re going to stray a bit from classical Yoga here, as gratitude isn’t exactly a huge concept in Yogic texts, but that doesn’t mean we can’t weave it into our formal practice, as well as the many moments of our lives.

At the end of the previous post, I invited you to begin the process of surrender by getting to know yourself better (Svadhyaya), simply by labelling your triggers. That’s it, just acknowledge when you are being triggered and let that be enough. We weren’t talking about untangling ourselves from our triggers, just that we could simply recognize when they had hopped in the drivers seat.

Your Next Assignment

Now I’m going to ask you to take the next step, employing a tactic called Pratipaksha Bhavana. This mouthful of a term is actually a pretty simple concept, so stick with me.

Checking in with our pal Patanjali, Sutra 2.33 states,  vitarka-bādhane pratipakṣa-bhāvanam, which Swami Satchidananda translates to mean, “When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite [positive] ones should be thought of. This is pratipaksha bhavana.” Essentially what we’re being asked to do here, is to redirect the mind when we find ourselves spiraling into something less than pleasant, i.e. when we are being triggered.

There are a number of ways one can do this, including simply diverting to a new, more neutral thought, or turning to a trusty mantra by repeating it several times to redirect the mind. The first can be more challenging, as the brain is hardwired to focus on the negative since we are programmed to constantly be assessing threats. I find it tough to simply think of something more pleasant when I’m sucked down into a spiral. I have employed a mantra many times, which I find more helpful, simply because stating something in Sanskrit means that I don’t get bogged down in the meaning, yet my mind gets pulled away from the negativity that it was wallowing in. One issue with using a mantra in this case, is that if you don’t already have an established mantra practice, it’s tough to use it as lifeline here, because your mind isn’t used to using it as a anchor.

Here’s where gratitude comes in. When you find yourself being triggered, see if you can find one singular thing to be grateful for in that moment. Don’t get caught up in it being something really meaningful, as that’s not the point. Just pick something that you can be grateful for. If you’ve been triggered by another driver on the road, see if you can be grateful that you have gas in your tank, that your brakes are working well, or that you have the means to get to where you need to go. You might even be able to cultivate gratitude for the beautiful trees on the road, or the loveliness of the passengers in your vehicle, but that might be a stretch. When it doubt, stick with verifiable facts. I have gas in my tank — great! My brakes work — sweet! I can get where I need to go — that’s fabulous! Don’t overcomplicate it, just keep it simple.

Shifting My Symptoms

At the start of last week I ventured about 4.5 hours north to the Poconos in Pennsylvania, for a short workshop on hosting Yoga retreats. As my day of travel and the events upon arrival unfolded, a simple scratchy throat that I attributed to allergies, began to worsen. I assumed the change in scenery was to blame, so I amped up my allergy meds and soldiered on. The sore throat dogged me the following day, and was a bit worse by Wednesday morning, my day of departure. I packed up, got on the road and unfortunately ended up stuck in stand-still traffic on I-81 for over an hour. As I sat stationary, a started to feel a fever set in. I blasted the heat in my car to counteract my chills, and knew there wasn’t much else I could do about it.

Eventually both the traffic and my fever broke, and  I made my way all the way home. Even though it was only 2pm when I arrived, I crawled into bed to rest. It took less than an hour for my body to “fall off a cliff” and get super sick. I mean the works. Aches, a higher fever, super swollen sore throat, exhaustion, congestion and more, all crashed down on me like a ton of bricks. Somehow though, I found that I wasn’t miserable despite my symptoms. Instead, I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude to my body. I knew in my heart that my body had worked so hard to hold it all together until I got home. I could almost imagine every cell chugging along, saying, “We just have to get her home! We can do this!” And they did do it. They all got me home so that I could rest safely in my own bed and not be stuck sick somewhere else.

Here I am, several days later, and still pretty sick, but that gratitude has stuck with me, and I know it has severely limited my suffering. Yes, my throat is still sore, I’ve lost most of my voice, my head is ridiculously congested and I can barely breathe through my nose. But I’m home, and I got here safely. I can have groceries delivered and I have some amazing teachers who have picked up my classes and even the studio laundry! So yeah, I’m suffering, but I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am suffering less because I have found things to be grateful for in this brief period of illness.

The last time I was this sick, my symptoms were the same, but my suffering was infinitely greater. So while the test results were the identical, the thing that had changed was me. I picked gratitude over grumpiness, and I know it’s made all the difference.